The Wanna Be King of This Land: A Ballad (A Parody of “The Phony King of England”)

[Verse 1]

Oh, the world will sing of a wanna-be-king,

A thousand years from now-

And not because he golfed a lot

Or wore that stupid scowl.

While all around his hatred feeds

On fears that once were gone.

The world might just die today

‘Cause of that good for nothing con.

[Bridge/Chorus]

Incredible as he is inept,

Whenever the history books are kept,

They’ll call him the wanna-be king of this land—

A stain upon the wanna-be king of this land!

[Verse 2]

He sits alone with tweeting phone

Saying that he’s the king-

A little tyke who’s rather like

A puppet on a string.

He throws an angry tantrum

If he cannot have his way,

And calls for Elon

While he’s sucking his thumb—

You see, he doesn’t want to play.

[Bridge/Chorus]

Too lame to be known as Don the First,

He’s sure to be known as Don the Worst.

A stain upon the wanna be king of this land!

[Verse 3]

While he tariffs us to pieces

And robs us of our bread,

Our freedoms he decides to take

To keep his coffers fed.

But there is still some spark of hope

In this, our faithful pack

We’ll find a way to make him pay

And take those freedoms back.

[Bridge)

Before he evens thinks we'd dare

We'll throw him straight into that Russian bear!

[Final Verse]

The breezy and uneasy would-be king of this land—

The sniveling, groveling,

Measly, weaselly,

Blabbering, jabbering,

Wheeling, dealing,

Old Don, the wanna-be king of this land!

(Original Credits for “The Phony King of England” written by Johnny Mercer and sung by Phil Harris for the 1973 film “Robin Hood”)